The crumbling walls of the crypt glow as the light from your torch spills out over them. You dash forward, through the thick cobwebs that stretch across the narrow passage, the figure in front of you limping towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
"Stop, beast!" you scream at the mummy.
You hurtle yourself through the air and onto the creature's back, both of you collapsing forward through the light and falling onto the sandy floor of the cavernous treasure room. You try to pin the mummy down but it slides out of your grasp and charges towards the golden casket on the other side of the room. You push yourself up from the dusty ground and run after it with all of the grit and determination that comes with your distinguished lineage.
"Stop right there," the mummy bellows as it reaches the casket. "If I open the lid on this tomb, it'll unleash the ferocious hellbeast known as Retykka upon the world! In mere hours Earth would be engulfed in flames that no drop of water could put out and the armies of Ra would rise once again to wipe out the remnants of humanity. Retykka would then build a spaceship out of the bones of all the humans butchered and use it to fly around the galaxy, burning up more planets before entually conquering the universe and then eating it."
You stand in silence for a few moments before finally putting your hands on your hips and sighing. "Alright, you win. I'll leave you in peace."
The mummy lifts his hand off of the tomb and a faint smile can be seen forming under his gauze. "I'll give you credit though, I get a lot of people coming here trying to kill me and you're up there with the best. It's been a few hundred years since I've had a fight as good as this one. Most monster hunters - they barge in here, waving their guns around and chanting gibberish - I just breathe some locusts on them and they're done. You were a pro, I couldn't phone in it tonight."
You smile and step forward, raising your wrist for a congratulatory handshake. "Thanks for the kind words, man. Doesn't bruise my ego as much to lose to a gentleman like yourself."
The mummy shuffles forward and grabs your outstretched hand in good sportsmanship. You let go of the paper hidden in your palm and slide your hand back leaving the mummy looking down in confusion at the form now in his hand.
"You've been served, kemosabe," you grin at him. "You're due to appear at your divorce hearing in Cairo on May 26th."
"What!?" the mummy groans as he steps back to sit down on the golden casket. "I thought you were cool, man. Do you know how long I've been dodging this divorce? Now I'm going to have to lose half of my stuff to that woman. She's probably going to get this golden casket, she's been eying it since we started dating."
"Not my problem," you reply as you spin around and begin walking towards the exit.
The mummy looks up from the subpoena and watches as you walk out of sight. He sighs and pulls his cellphone out from within his wrappings, calling his lawyer to discuss his next move.